Corpse Bludgeon
The Game
Bludgeon Corpses! Score Points!
Saturday, December 8
Pre-Game: 8pm, Bludgeoning: 9pm
FREE
What?
Corpse Bludgeon is a Game.
You bludgeon corpses. There are points.
Visual and auditory effects will enhance your Bludgeoning Experience.
Can you be the Best? We’ll let YOU be the judge of that!
Oh, but Corpse Bludgeon is so much more than a game. Oh yes. Corpse Bludgeon is a Method.
It is a Technology. It is a System. It is a Path.
How?
- There will be one or many Corpses.
- There will be Blunt Objects.
- You will sign the Waiver.
- You will be strapped in to the Biomechanical Receptors.
- You will Bludgeon Corpses.
- The Results will be Tallied.
Why?
Hey. We know what you’re thinking: “Bludgeon Corpses????”
Ha ha! Yeah. We’ve been there. We had our doubts too! All we ask is that you give The System a chance. Give it a “swing” and see what happens. What have you got to lose? After all, “It’s Just a Corpse!”
Help!
Can Corpse Bludgeon Help You?
Corpse Bludgeon provides methods that will not only help you overcome your fears, but allow you to help others.
What is Different about Corpse Bludgeon?
Corpse Bludgeon is derived from psychology, scientific research findings, deep moral ambiguity, and real life experiments! AND YET Corpse Bludgeon is NOT just another complicated medical procedure. NOR is it a boring online social media anomie generator. Rather, Corpse Bludgeon is a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective Experiences that are backed by “Science” and presented in a Simple Way that YOU can understand and apply!
Desire
- Are you tired of feeling inferior and worthless?
- Do you tremble, shake and feel anxious when you approach certain people?
- Do you think that you are unattractive, boring or not up to the standard?
- Do you envy people who are self confident and outspoken?
- Are you fed up of analyzing the situations that made you feel neglected, unwanted or not welcomed
- Does criticism affect you badly?
- Do you spend sleepless nights analyzing comments that were said about you?
- Are you fed up of being bullied and disrespected by others?
- If someone told you that you are uninteresting, will you shake, tremble or even cry?
- Do people ignore you, neglect you or rarely notice your presence?
- Are you sick of feeling helpless, down and not in control of your life?
- Do you want to be respected and admired?
- Do you want people to love you?
- Do you want to have fans and admirers?
- Do you want to become really confident?
HOW Can Corpse Bludgeon Help You?
Reduce the emotional intensity associated with bad experiences. Improve your self confidence. Become a good public speaker. Do well in job interviews. Find a good accountant. Experience being satisfied. Experience yourself as whole and complete in the present moment. Learn how to get the bloodstains out. Exercise leadership.
YES! Corpse Bludgeon Can Help YOU!
Applied on a broad scale, Corpse Bludgeon brings about an enormous calming influence and enables people to lead happier lives. Used on an individual scale – by you – it will enhance the lives of your family, friends and associates!
If you are SERIOUS about making big changes to your life then start Bludgeoning Corpses! Today!
Symptoms
Your life IS your therapeutic encounter informed by the transformational grammar of Feedback. Every outcome manifested is Feedback: there is no failure, only feedback
Discharge
You may experience cathartic discharge. Do not be alarmed. Please remain calm. The length of time needed in Corpse Bludgeon varies from person to person.
Happiness
Psychotic symptoms, including paranoia, uncontrollable mood swings, and delusions.
Faith
I Said, Young Man, There’s No Insurance for THIS psychopolitical activity to act as possible experiences, both pain and smell.
Yes
These are the feelings you should expect to feel after you complete this program… So what are you waiting for? It’s time to Bludgeon the Corpse to Total Freedom!
Testimonials
If you think that this is joke some kind of “marketing hype,” then see what other visitors have to say about Corpse Bludgeon!
“Thank you for Corpse Bludgeon! I have found your training life enhancing you deliver what you promise. I am now looking forward to applying my new corpse bludgeoning skills to all areas of my life!”
– Horror“Corpse Bludgeon is a valid subject for scientific study and research and a proven therapeutic medium.”
– Science“A big solid thank you!!! …. I’m really improving and really started to act more confidently!”
– Priebus“Corpse Bludgeon is definitely helping because I have learned lots of stuff that I would never have known otherwise.”
– Orpheus
Privacy
Corpse Bludgeon DOES NOT store ANY of your personal information.
You are anonymous.
You are alone.
You are lost in the empty void of your own twisted fantasies.
You do not know how you got here.
You do not understand why this is happening.
You fear you are trapped in your own meat-cage, separated from truly knowing anyone.
You don’t believe the illusion of connection can stand in for meaningful communication.
You reject moral absolutes and are repulsed by the implications of groundless relativism.
You have already accepted these Terms and Conditions.
You have accepted them in so many ways.
You find it hard to forgive yourself for your acquiescence.
Don’t worry. We won’t tell anyone.
